I did a critique of the memo in more detail below. I am being fairly tough to show you what you needed to do for a business memo. However, I might have been able to steer you away from some of these problems if I had seen the particular item about the Grammys that you were using. It is essentially a report on the show itself and doesn't say much at all about the relationship of the show to the current crisis in the music business.
To: Proximity Music Team
From: Jazmin Childress
Subject: Jay L. Lustig's article about the Grammys
Date: 2/1/10
Introduction
In preparing for the focus group session, I am suppose to analyze a blog related to music . Since one of the biggest music awards of the year, The Grammy's, came on cbs tonight, I feel that this is one of the best subjects to touch on right now. My article below discusses the top performances and awards that occured on The Grammy's tonight. From this article I feel the best questions to include in the session should determine if Towson students actually agree with the winners of the awards that took place tonight.
The central issue here is why is this important for our clients. What you suggest below in the "also" is that knowing Gen-Y music preferences is important.
What Took Place On The Grammys
Tonight was the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards. There were a variety of performances from an electic group of artist; including young, old, country, pop, hip hop, and etc. Some of the artist that performed tonight were Lady Gage and Elton John, Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Stevie Nicks, Black Eyed Peas, Pink, Maxwell, Mary J. Blidge and Andrea Bocelli, and also there was a tribute done in 3-D to Micheal Jackson which included Celine Dion, Usher, Smokey Robinson, Jennifer Hudson, and Carrie Underwood. Beyonce won the most awards tonight, taking home six grammys. Artist following behind Beyonce include Taylor Swift with four grammys, Black Eyed Peas and Jay-z with three grammys, and Kings of Leon won Record of the Year.
Here you get into lots of detail about the Grammays but nothing about the show as a media event or the new strategy of integrating a live broadcast with online sites. These are great artists and it is good to know who won, but in a business context your readers want to know what they should take away from your summary.
Why Grammy's is Important For The Fans: The Grammy's are very important in the music industry because it allows fans to see their favorite artist get nominated for awards against other artist, see which artist are currently the best for each category, and to see some of their favorite artist perform. The Grammy's also broaden viewers horizons by allowing them to listen to a variety of different artist and genres that they wouldn't have necessarily listened to in the past. For The Artist: The Grammy's gives artist more exposure by performing for their fans and allowing them to gain new fans. Also, The Grammy's honors artist by giving them awards for there work in the music industry.
Here you are essentially repeating two versions of the same point - the Grammys are a means to link fans and artist and publicize pop music. That is important as the starting point. What is important for our clients and the music industry in general is that FM radio is dying, profits from sales are declining, and there is total audience fragmentation. Nobody knows where and how to target Gen-Y using what kind of music. So again what you have here is too much detail without explaining why the points are important.
Questions To Ask TU Music Supporters
In addition to determining if TU students agreed with the artist who won grammys, we need to find out what type of music they like to listen to. The music segment of the focus group session should include questions such as the following:
What type of music do you listen to?
Did you enjoy The Grammys?
Where you satisfied with the artist that won awards? If not who do you feel should of won?
Which artist were you most happiest to see win?
Do you feel winning a grammy determines the success of that artist?
The focus group session needs the answers to these questions to see what characteristics are needed to make an artist popular enough to win a grammy. Also the focus group will be able to determine which genres Gen Y listens to the most.
So finally, note that the first point in itself is not interesting though your first two questions are very important because they get to the critical question - the "also" point. What our clients need to know is if the relatively mainstream and cross over artists on the Grammys are still the ones that most hold Gen-Y interest and are OK to use for branding products.
Reference
Lustig, J. (2010, January 31) Grammy winners: Beyonce dominates, Taylor Swift, Kings of Leon collect.NJ.com.Retrieved Jan. 31. 2010, from http://www.nj.com/entertainment/music/index.ssf/2010/01/grammy_winners_beyonce_taylor.html
Overall the I really liked the analysis it cover basically what the musical aspect of the grammy's was about, apart from the highlighted words honesty the analysis is great.
I did a critique of the memo in more detail below. I am being fairly tough to show you what you needed to do for a business memo. However, I might have been able to steer you away from some of these problems if I had seen the particular item about the Grammys that you were using. It is essentially a report on the show itself and doesn't say much at all about the relationship of the show to the current crisis in the music business.
To: Proximity Music Team
From: Jazmin Childress
Subject: Jay L. Lustig's article about the Grammys
Date: 2/1/10
Introduction
In preparing for the focus group session, I am suppose to analyze a blog related to music . Since one of the biggest music awards of the year, The Grammy's, came on cbs tonight, I feel that this is one of the best subjects to touch on right now. My article below discusses the top performances and awards that occured on The Grammy's tonight. From this article I feel the best questions to include in the session should determine if Towson students actually agree with the winners of the awards that took place tonight.
The central issue here is why is this important for our clients. What you suggest below in the "also" is that knowing Gen-Y music preferences is important.
What Took Place On The Grammys
Tonight was the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards. There were a variety of performances from an electic group of artist; including young, old, country, pop, hip hop, and etc. Some of the artist that performed tonight were Lady Gage and Elton John, Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Stevie Nicks, Black Eyed Peas, Pink, Maxwell, Mary J. Blidge and Andrea Bocelli, and also there was a tribute done in 3-D to Micheal Jackson which included Celine Dion, Usher, Smokey Robinson, Jennifer Hudson, and Carrie Underwood. Beyonce won the most awards tonight, taking home six grammys. Artist following behind Beyonce include Taylor Swift with four grammys, Black Eyed Peas and Jay-z with three grammys, and Kings of Leon won Record of the Year.
Here you get into lots of detail about the Grammays but nothing about the show as a media event or the new strategy of integrating a live broadcast with online sites. These are great artists and it is good to know who won, but in a business context your readers want to know what they should take away from your summary.
Why Grammy's is Important
For The Fans: The Grammy's are very important in the music industry because it allows fans to see their favorite artist get nominated for awards against other artist, see which artist are currently the best for each category, and to see some of their favorite artist perform. The Grammy's also broaden viewers horizons by allowing them to listen to a variety of different artist and genres that they wouldn't have necessarily listened to in the past.
For The Artist: The Grammy's gives artist more exposure by performing for their fans and allowing them to gain new fans. Also, The Grammy's honors artist by giving them awards for there work in the music industry.
Here you are essentially repeating two versions of the same point - the Grammys are a means to link fans and artist and publicize pop music. That is important as the starting point. What is important for our clients and the music industry in general is that FM radio is dying, profits from sales are declining, and there is total audience fragmentation. Nobody knows where and how to target Gen-Y using what kind of music. So again what you have here is too much detail without explaining why the points are important.
Questions To Ask TU Music Supporters
In addition to determining if TU students agreed with the artist who won grammys, we need to find out what type of music they like to listen to. The music segment of the focus group session should include questions such as the following:
The focus group session needs the answers to these questions to see what characteristics are needed to make an artist popular enough to win a grammy. Also the focus group will be able to determine which genres Gen Y listens to the most.
So finally, note that the first point in itself is not interesting though your first two questions are very important because they get to the critical question - the "also" point. What our clients need to know is if the relatively mainstream and cross over artists on the Grammys are still the ones that most hold Gen-Y interest and are OK to use for branding products.
Reference
Lustig, J. (2010, January 31) Grammy winners: Beyonce dominates, Taylor Swift, Kings of Leon collect.NJ.com.Retrieved Jan. 31. 2010, from http://www.nj.com/entertainment/music/index.ssf/2010/01/grammy_winners_beyonce_taylor.html
Overall the I really liked the analysis it cover basically what the musical aspect of the grammy's was about, apart from the highlighted words honesty the analysis is great.